It’s one of those nights

It’s one of those nights when the stars won’t seem to align and I’m staring at the moon with teary eyes .

It’s one of those nights, when I’m lying in my bed and I can’t afford to lose sight of my cupboard because the moment I would , I’d start thinking about you .

It’s one of those nights, when I’m thinking of all the possible ways to forget how crooked your glasses looked .

It’s one of those nights, when I’m listening to ‘I want to be alone’ but I’m hoping for you to be here .

It’s one of those nights, when the worn-out velcro is not the reason behind my eye mask falling off, again and again .

It’s one of those nights, when I just wanna let my hair down ’cause the thought of sustaining a weight as much as even a bun is proving to be way over my head .

It’s one of those nights when I’m upset about the fact, that you turned me into a hopeless romantic and then left me like I’m some piece of shit.

It’s one of those nights when I finally realize that life’s not an expensive French white wine with bubbles. It’s more rocks and boulders rather than champagne and cream.

It’s one of those nights when I’m getting to discover the kind of a sceptical bitch I’ve become .

It’s one of those nights, when I can’t stop thinking about you and you are busy watching a movie .

It’s one of those nights, when I can’t sleep and you don’t miss me .

It’s one of those nights when I feel heart broken, for I had to give you up .

It’s one of those nights when I’m watching you become everything you said you never wanted to be.

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Maybe if you tell yourself enough

It’s gonna be hard.

Before you go out there and search for love,I wanna let you know that it’s gonna be hard. I just want you to know that sometimes before it gets better,it gets worse.

Falling in love is easy. It’s the necessitated fall out, that’s painful.

Thinking about what to wear on your fifth date is easy. Having to stop thinking about someone who drives you crazy? That’s painful.

Knowing that you’ve got someone to take care of you is easy. Getting to Know that you’re in pain and the person who is supposed to love you more than anyone else, put you there? That’s painful .

Being the “fingerprint 2” of someone’s phone is easy. Not being able to unlock your own phone ’cause the sensor is incapable of reading your finger soaked in tears is painful.

Managing to get the red heart beside that one name would be easy . It’s watching the number next to that snapchat handle disappear, that’ll be painful.

Staying up all night with your friends,talking about “the one”, is easy. Hiding the truth and lying about the whole moving on thing is what’s gonna be painful.

Snatching away that person’s hoodie would be really easy. Having to return the same through someone else is what’s gonna be painful.

Staring at the pictures when you’re far away from that person would be somewhat easy . Looking at the number of screenshots of all those sad quotes increase day by day will be really painful .

Sharing chocolates with only that person would be easy . Remembering how you got that chocolate stain on your ring would be painful.

Going out on birthday dates would be easy. The fear of bothering that person with your one line happy birthday text would be painful .

Going to karaoke clubs would be easy. The sudden inclination toward instrumental would be painful .

Managing two instagram accounts would be easy. Being blocked and incapable of seeing that one name anywhere in the top searches would be painful.

The long romantic “I love you.” texts would be easy. It’s the awkward 12:49am “Hi” and the obvious 1:09am “goodbye”, that’d be painful.

The cute pen and pillow fights would be easy . The small and insignificant talks leading to endless wrangling would be painful.

Figuring out of who’s gonna use the washroom first would be easy. It’s when you’re gonna get caught crying on the bathroom floor with the tap turned up , that’d be painful .

The French kiss would be easy. It’s the lump in your throat that’ll be painful.

But, I’m a stranger. What would I know ?

So,maybe if you tell yourself enough, you’ll be able to choose in between the devil & the deep blue sea and it won’t be that hard for you .

Maybe if you tell yourself enough, every new discussion will not create discomfort and it won’t be that hard for you.

Maybe if you tell yourself enough, you’ll be okay with not stepping out of your house for months. Your car can get as ramshackle as it can and it won’t be that hard for you.

Maybe if you tell yourself enough, you’ll not pay attention to the hourglass beside that snapchat handle and it won’t be that hard for you.

Maybe if you tell yourself enough, you’ll not regret borrowing that t-shirt,which actually led to the two of you getting close, and it won’t be that hard for you.

Maybe if you tell yourself enough, you’ll forget that person’s favorite ice cream. ‘Mississippi mud’ would just be another flavor Baskin Robbins has to offer and it won’t be that hard for you .

Maybe if you tell yourself enough,you would stop falling around that person and it won’t be that hard for you .

Maybe if you tell yourself enough, it’d be okay for you to get drunk everyday. You’ll find the answer at the bottom of the bottle one day and it won’t be that hard for you.

Maybe if you tell yourself enough, it won’t be weird at all for you to name your child after your long lost love and it won’t be that hard for you .

Maybe and just maybe if you tell yourself enough, you’ll fall out of love and it won’t be that hard for you .

You shouldn’t know

Life’s not easy, jackass. You gotta take it real slow. You don’t always get what you want. Do you? Sometimes it’s just the opposite and sometimes it’s just not enough. Sometimes it’s unanticipated and sometimes it’s predictable. The thing is, do you or do you not, always tend to get over it?

Yes,what if you were capable of knowing everything ? Would you really be happy then? Would you be able to stop the inevitable?

What if you knew already that you’re favorite character in Game Of Thrones would die in an episode going to be aired on your birthday? Would you not celebrate your birthday? Would you skip that episode? Well,if you think yourself to be a die hard fan,you might as well just do it,but that my friend,is exactly how you become an epitome of lunacy.

What if you knew the person sitting right in front of you would be proposing any minute? Would you like cutting to the chase and asking the highly strung person to just spill the beans? Would it be able to compensate for the satisfaction you’d get while watching the fidgety human beat around the bush and speak gibberish?

What if you got to know about all your last goodbyes? Would you be able to keep each one of ’em from going away or would you be so mad at them that you’ll stop the memories from lasting a lifetime?Are you willing to give up on the idea of a perfect goodbye kiss, coming up all unknowingly just for the sake of not being brave enough to say, “This is goodbye.” ?

What if you would have known that the one person you’re in love with will leave you one day? Would you be able to stop feeling for that person in a heartbeat? Well yeah, maybe,but what possible explanation would you give to that person for leaving at that moment? Do you really wanna be the one who runs away? Are you ready to trade “I tried.I really thought, you’d stay” for “I’m done. I know you’re gonna leave.” ?

The thing is,you know a lot of things already and you probably even know that it’s of no use. There’s no adventure in knowing everything beforehand.

You see, everybody is acquainted with the very idea of papercuts. So what? We stop reading books? We no longer should go through the morning news?

We know,we do terrible things after getting drunk, but who doesn’t like to beat the odds? There comes pleasure along with regret when we drunk call the ‘don’t call’.

We all know that when it’s finally time to ‘go,get graduate’ , we’re gonna be sad and vulnerable. So ? You decide to not look good because you’re gonna cry and ruin everything anyway? What will you cherish more? A photograph of you looking like Mona freaking Lisa or the one reminding you of your graduation speech, which by the way, you started off with a smile and ended up with a tear rolling down from the corner of your right eye?

You need to understand that giving up is not how we should deal with things.People are not always meant to be together and if they are, they find their way back somehow. They always do. You need to believe that nothing would have been different even if you knew then,what you know now. It’d be like, you playing a game and knowing all the rules. So now, you can’t afford to break them which is contrary to the popular belief that rules are meant to be broken. That’ll make you happy,huh?

Open up your eyes,my love. You’re either right where you are supposed to be or you’re just at the wrong place at the right time, but you’ve got nothing to worry about.

It’s time

Come back to me. When it’s 2:27 am and you can’t sleep, come back to me. When your house no longer feels like home, come back to me. When you can’t figure out what loyalty means, come back to me. When you can’t remember the color of her eyes, come back to me. When you start feeling uncomfortable in your favorite sweatpants, come back to me. When you realize that you actually know the song you’ve been humming in the shower, come back to me. When you become incapable of spending more than three hours on your game, come back to me. When you stand in front of the mirror and the mole on the left side of your forehead appears to be more tantalizing than your incredibly sophisticated pink lips, come back to me. When the cheese stored in your refrigerator is kept unwrapped, come back to me. When you can’t find your favorite Ed Hardy hoodie, come back to me. When there’s always enough milk in the house, come back to me. When you regret the fact that you never listened to me when I tried to explain you, how I managed to turn granulated sugar into caster sugar, come back to me. While eating french fries, when you find no one who’s ready to wait on you til you go and fetch your mint mayonnaise bottle, come back to me. When you’re not satisfied with your expensive head massager, come back to me. When you realize that F.R.I.E.N.D.S is not a boring tv series, come back to me. When nobody is ready to sacrifice a spare pair of earphones for you, come back to me. When you’re tired of hearing excuses like “Mind if I take a raincheck on that ?” , come back to me. When you miss someone getting drunk on green apple vodka, come back to me. When nothing but the LED indicators keep you up all night, come back to me. When no one switches off the lights while you’re inside the washroom, come back to me. When nobody threatens to throw away your racquet, come back to me. When you don’t have anyone who is competent enough to seize the kitkat bar from your kitkat shake, come back to me. When you realize everything around you has changed, come back to me. When you’re ready to find what makes you feel like nobody else, come back to me.

When you miss me, come back to me.

It’s time,love. It’s time to come back home.

 

I’m not cold

Don’t touch me. Don’t touch me because when you do,it sends a chill down my spine. Don’t touch me because everytime you do that,I      forget that the last time I checked,I was trying to get ahead of myself. Don’t touch me because whenever you’re so close that I’m capable of catching a wiff of your cologne,I can literally feel the stars align in a way that would make us end up together and forever. Dont touch me because when you tell me that you have        feelings for me and by that you mean feelings that are not as much as even one percent of what I feel for you , I start picturing a future with you in it . Don’t touch me because by the time I notice the smell of cigarette smoke         coming from your fingers, I’ll have already     forgotten all about you promising me,never to smoke again and convinced myself as to how I’m just going through an olfactory                     hallucination . Don’t touch me because when I feel your hair brush up against my cheeks, I wait for you to snuggle on my shoulder and it quite happens just three seconds after that . Don’t touch me because everytime I catch a glimpse of your fingers running all the way up to my chin , It’s in that moment I know that you’re gonna pull my face toward you, tell me that everything’s gonna be okay and I’m gonna believe you in the blink of an eye . Don’t touch me because when I feel your skin against mine , no matter how hard I’d been trying to put my shit together until then, it all goes in vain . Yes . Yes, just like that.  You know why ? Because there’s always this voice in the back of my head that compels me to think that, maybe this  time it’ll be nothing like it has always been . Maybe this time, you’ll fight for me. Maybe this time, you’ll make it about us and not just you. Maybe this time, you’ll realize that your touch is not just a matter of intimacy to me. It’s much more than that.

Don’t touch me . I’m not cold .

What’s the worst feeling ever ?

I was wrong.
A regular pizza with no seasoning, isn’t the worst feeling ever.
Having to leave home, not when you want to, is.
Not being able to meet some of the closest friends before leaving your hometown,is.
Realizing, you could’ve done so much more than just hooking up with the reclining couch, you thought won’t be available anywhere in the college,is.
Resting on your father’s shoulder,while you’re driving off to the freaking station and realizing you could’ve done more of this, is.
Leaving your brother behind ’cause it’d be way past his bedtime before anyone reaches back home after seeing you off, is.
Getting to know,your father wasn’t kidding about not giving his shirt to you forever, is.
Seeing your mom prepare a whole lot of good food which you had to beg for earlier, but not anymore since your mother knows,you’d have to eat the hostel food for the next six months,is .
Waving your grandparents goodbye while they stand in the balcony ’cause they’re too old to come outside in the cold weather,is.

Accepting that you just wanna go home instead of going big , is .

Realizing, a regular pizza with no seasoning isn’t the worst feeling ever, is.